I am not ashamed to admit that I’m a crazy dog lady. Obsessed is an understatement. My family and I own two dogs; a German Shepherd and a Golden Retriever. While I love my Shepherd, Whiskey, our Golden is definitely my dog, and has so much personality. Bear follows me everywhere, cries when I’m away, and sleeps on my bed. Basically, we’re a package deal.
I’ve learned a few things in owning my first Golden. Bear has been in my life now for four years, and I’d consider myself an expert in all things Retriever.
- Retrievers are really good at retrieving (duh). Giving back? Not so much.
- Hide your socks. Trust me. Clean or otherwise, they won’t discriminate. They will take them all and act like they have no idea how they got there.
- Don’t expect your Golden to stick to their side of the bed. What’s yours, is his. My poor boyfriend learned this the hard way.
- Retrievers have a lot to say. Often, first thing in the morning is when they’re most vocal, but don’t be surprised if they wake you at 2am for a chat and a belly rub.
- Basic Retriever mentality is that there is no such thing as too much food. However, Retrievers come in handy when you’re cutting calories because they’ll take anything you don’t want.
- Retrievers make terrible runners. They get distracted by people and dogs and are always on the lookout for things to eat. It’s better to run solo and walk them later.
- If you move, he moves with you. Don’t expect to ever have a moment to yourself.
- Retrievers make excellent alarm clocks. They know exactly when it’s dinner time, when it’s walk time, and when it’s time for a snuggle. But they’re really bad at waking up and would stay in bed all day if they could, so set a proper alarm for mornings.
- Oh, you thought your black jeans were going to stay black? Here, let me fix that.
- Toys are good, tree branches are better.
- Watching TV is a must.
- Retrievers are prone to epilepsy. Bear was diagnosed this year. But it’s okay, because medication is basically seen as an excuse to eat more.
- Drool comes with the territory.
- Retrievers make the best, best friends.