The Fear of Mediocrity

I am intimidated by the fear of being average. I’m afraid of leading a boring, 9-to-5 job that I hate but never leave because I’m stuck in a rut and it’s too comfortable to do something different. I’m afraid of living for the weekend. I’m afraid that I’ll be content someday with my everyday life and I won’t have the drive to improve. I’m afraid that I’ll come to the end of my life without having done something worthwhile. Of course, I’m only in my early twenties so I still have no idea what this worthwhile something is yet. But all I know is I don’t want to be an average person.

Usually my blog posts revolve around some kind of issue and a solution. Today’s post is more just Monday musings; a collection of thoughts that I’ve had throughout my day or on my train ride home. I currently don’t have a resolution to my fear of mediocrity, it’s more of a work in progress. I’d also like to throw a disclaimer in here and say that I know plenty of people who have an average life and love it – this is just my perspective on how I want my life to pan out.

I’ve never pictured myself with a typical office job – I think it would bore the hell out of me. I know I’d like my career to lead down the path of animal rights, or criminal psychology, or even just criminal law in general, and all of these jobs are a bit more than your average. They’re exciting, they involve my passions, and they get me fired up. I think I always want to feel that way when I go to work. Even last year when I was working as a bartender, I loved that job fiercely and it made me want to be there – not because I was getting paid to do so, but because I had a genuine love for the art of mixology and the people I was working with. I couldn’t imagine having a job where you get to the office at the same time every day, with the same role for twenty years, with the same company. I’ve always found that the grumpiest people are those who have so much in their life they want to change but never have the ambition to do anything about it.

Of course, a fear of having an average job isn’t the whole picture. Having an average anything is definitely not my goal – I’m not a huge fan of average grades, or average food, or average books. You get the picture. I feel like if you’re not spending a lot of time on this planet, you might as well make every aspect of your life the best it possibly can be.

I’m not saying I want to be the best at everything – I’m willing to say that’s nearly impossible, or at the very least, rather exhausting. But I’m saying that my fear of mediocrity actually inspires and drives me to make today better than yesterday.

Caitlin xx

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